Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanks to you all . ..

First, I want to apologize to all of you. I promised to share my gratitude with you every day . . . and my Internet went out. I've been fighting with the cable company for days. Finally I can say I'm grateful to be back online.

It's so close to Thanksgiving that I need to get caught up quickly. It's easy to be thankful for the big stuff that happens in our lives. We look at our new car, home, appliances and such ~ easy gratitude. The small stuff is what has held me through my life . . .

. . . in the midst of my fear, anxiety, depression and sadness somewhere a voice comes to me with these words. Truth is ~ it does pass. For those who've said it to anyone . . . Thank you.

So many times words aren't enough, but a small graphic~smiley. I'm so grateful for those little nothings. You care enough when I am alone and careless.

Several times a day, Rob comes in to rub my feet for me. He has even washed them for me. There is a kindness in his touch that I can't explain.

**I must apologize again, as my Internet was just restored again. I have tried to be kind to the repair guys and all the telephone operators I've dealt with. It has been their Thanksgiving week as well. Does it count if I cry from frustration? I am at least trying to be thankful.

A homeless gal that we knew from church has been here several days in the last month. She has been by to help us with some cleaning and actually scrubbed the walls and baseboards in the hallway. Her son is also homeless, living in the local river bottom. On Monday, Rob asked them to join us for Thanksgiving. It was a wonderful meal. Turkey, all the fixing's and pumpkin pie. Tina helped with the things I am unable to do. The boys each took a shower as did their mom. Rob set up cloth bags for each of them with t-shirts, pants, towels, food and a can opener. He added candy and chips, water and soda and paper towel/bath tissue. Our landlord gave each an envelope with 10 $1 bills and Rob gave some cigarettes.

Funny . .. I am filled with deep gratitude for their presence in our home yesterday. I heard laughter and shouts about football. "taste the yams, boys . . .I made them!" Shawn, whose mother hung up on him when he called to wish her happy Thanksgiving, gave me the honor of being his grandma for the day.

I am thankful I have people who love me and who will not walk away or slam the door on me when I am at my worst. I am grateful to know in the deepest part of my heart that the Lord will never leave me nor forsake me.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Giving Thanks

First, I want to thank Chris for this graphic. Oftentimes I totally forget to give credit where credit is due. Without your help I would still be struggling to get my other graphics and photos into my blogs. Thanks, my friend.

I have a best friend who takes care of me. He loves me when I am unlovable, helps me when I am helpless and shows tenderness at every turn. Yes, of course Jesus is the answer. However the friend I described above is one I can see and touch. He's my husband Rob. Certainly your spouse is supposed to be your best friend, but that doesn't always happen. I am grateful to God for my best friend. Below is a picture of another friend . . . her name is Precious.

We got Precious a couple of years ago. I've had two black Pomeranians before. The first was Sparkle, and escapee from the Fairfield County dog shelter. The next was Teddy. Teddy lived 12 hard years in Mexico. He passed away in 2001. We had other pommies, but I just fell in love with the black ones. Precious was my chance to fall in love again. I am so thankful to have her. One of the cutest things she does is pray. Praying is serious business to her. Rob and I start our day with prayer. If Precious is outside, she will raise a huge fuss if we start without her. We can't fool her, not even if we pray in the farthest room away from her. She jumps on the couch while we sing or begin prayer and calms almost immediately. I think she is thankful as well.
I am thankful for my sister Sharon. For years our relationship was pretty terrible. I took her place as the baby of the family. She teased me a lot (I am still sensitive to teasing). I went wild in my teens/early 20's. She took care of my kids for a while. We had an uneasy peace. About 25 years ago, I promised to take my mom to see her. On that visit we realized we had a lot more stuff in common than we thought. In an instant our relationship was healed. All our dislikes disappeared like water flows over rocks downhill. I believe God intervened and gave us back to each other. Sisters are good, yes they are!
Today I am grateful for God in my life, my husband, my Precious, my sister and for you . . .

Monday, November 17, 2008


Seems like decades ago . . . when I first had a journal/blog on that other place . . . can't say the name right now or I will lose my thankfulness . . . I asked others to post on their blog or in my comments the things they were thankful for. I actually asked them to do it every day. Of course I had to make an entry every day for the month of November leading up to Thanksgiving. I loved the posts and comments. So . . . for the next 10 days, I want to talk about my thankfulness. If you'd like to join me, put a comment here or post something in your blog and leave me a link.
I have so many reasons to be thankful, but if I tell them all today, I won't have any left for my next entries. I will start with a few things.

I am grateful for my mom. She's been gone 11 years now, but a couple of nights ago I saw her in my dream. I usually don't see her face in my dreams, but I saw it this time. Mom had undying love for her 4 daughters and many grandchildren. She had faith in me when everyone else had given up. Of course I was/am the baby ~ 8 years younger than my next-oldest sister, and she spoiled me. She encouraged my creativity and my love of learning. One of my most treasured memories is when she came to my college graduation (I was 41 years old). As I crossed the stage to receive my diploma, I saw her at the back of the room crying tears of joy. I am so thankful that the Lord let me be her daughter.

I am thankful for each of my 5 husbands. Each one came into my life and loved me in their own way. I learned about myself with them. Well, I'm still learning with Rob. I grew emotionally, learned my weaknesses, gained wisdom and a strong(er) will with each marriage. I am very grateful now to have stopped marrying. (Whew!)

I'm grateful that the sun rose today and I with it. Sometimes I wonder if we know how very precious each day is. My last husband died in the space of a day. All the tomorrows we had lined up were not to be. When I waken every day, I remember that my "wild" days alone could have taken me off this earth. Really. One day 43 years ago, I gave my son up for adoption. Another day 16 1/2 years later, he found me. I have had so many days that were not all that great. There have been at least 100 times more good days than bad. I look forward to tomorrow. Because after all, if I wake up I will have at least one more day to be thankful.

I'm not sure how to put this . . . I've been watching my state burn once again. I have cried over the losses. Just north of me in Montecito over 200 multi-million dollar homes were lost. I'm grateful I don't live there. I am so very grateful that so far, no one has died as a direct result of the fires. I am also thankful that as awful as the fires were to watch and read about, I am still human. One of God's kids, as it were. It hurts, but I am happy that I still care enough.

I'm grateful for you . . .

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Remember Television?

When I was four, my grandparents bought us a television. We were the first in our neighborhood to have one. It was a big brown (mahogany?) cabinet with both a TV and radio. That box was so fascinating to me. Most of the time, it seemed it had only a screen with an Indian head in the middle. I'm not sure what my first program was ~ it may have been Howdy Doody. The set was a little girl's delight. My mom and my 3 sisters would sit down to watch together. Because my sisters were all in school, I got to watch in the daytime. The people and others in there were my friends. I thought they lived in there. At nap time, my mother would turn off the television and close the doors. I would rest, waiting to rush back to my friends. I thought that when the set was turned off they were all in there waiting for it to be turned back on. I was quickly disappointed when they weren't there to greet me. I held on to the delusion for a while.

The place where we lived was huge to me. In our front yard were two huge palm trees. They were equidistant to the center of the house. Our entrance was a set of french doors. As we went inside, the dining room was to the right, living room to the left. Behind the dining room was the kitchen. Our bedrooms were behind the living room. A central hall led us to the bedrooms and the other kitchen door. I slept in the room with my mother, my sisters Sylvia and Sharon shared a room and Charlotte slept in a sort of sun porch way at the rear of the house. I loved Charlotte as if she were a second mother to me. I even placed my pet snails on her pillow one early morning to show my love for her. When she stopped screaming, mama had a little talk talk with me about snails in the house.

Our back yard was a veritable treasure for a little tomboy. We had fruit trees to climb, a really fun set of clotheslines for me to ruin from time to time and lots of dirt and grass to keep me wretchedly dirty. My mom kept me in overalls instead of dresses. We had a brown dog whose name I can't remember. He was my protector. He protected so much that one day he pulled me from an apricot tree in the neighbor's yard and I was hurt. I cried because mom gave the dog to the dog catcher.

Just after that, my mom found that a skunk was living under the house. I had never seen one and didn't know why she and my sisters were making such a fuss. I thought it was the cutest kitty I had ever seen . . . it was in what I now know was a trap. I thought the kitty was thirsty, so I poured some water in his cage. He sprayed me all over! Mom burned the clothes and I spent some time in a bath of tomato juice. I actually loved all the attention. I just didn't quite know what all the noise was about.

There is a lot of water that has passed under the bridge since then. I no longer believe people live inside the television. I still love the classical music that my mom played all the time. I love dogs . . . we have 4 little ones now. My sisters grew up and married by the time I was eight years old. I lived the life as a spoiled "only" child. I'm still spoiled. I haven't played with any skunks lately, although I still think they are beautiful. It's been a long time since I played in the mud or climbed a tree. I wish I could climb a tree now . . . there's always a spectacular view from the top.

As always, I think about you all and pray for you. Please say a special prayer tonight for Donna of D's Designs as she recovers from a heart attack and bypass surgery. Many blessings,