Honestly, I didn't want to go this morning. I am tired, my back and legs are in pain and I didn't even get up for church. I went yesterday and she didn't show up. But the gal on the phone said she really wanted to see me in person.
I guess I have to give a little background. The call was for a deaf girl. We have watched her life since we moved here nearly 5 years ago. Her street name is Dreamer. When we first saw her, she was a wild drug user. She had wild red hair and we nicknamed her "Big Red". I felt a tug on my heart every time I saw her. About 2 1/2 years ago, I started to communicate with her. I remembered some sign language and could finger-spell. I bought her food a few times, careful not to give her cash. Then she disappeared for a while.
A little over a year ago, I began to see her again. I stopped her on the street one day to see if she needed something. She told me she had enough and thanked me. She looked a little different. I didn't know it that day, but she had been in jail for heroin use. She came out on a methadone program and her life has been changing for the better.
I wish my words could paint a picture of the girl I've come to know over the last 4 years. She's about 5'9" tall, light red hair . . . there's a small black tattoo over her right eyebrow. She has high cheekbones, a wide bow mouth and green eyes. I suppose because she is deaf, her eyes and face are extremely animated and expressive. I've seen her sometimes walking down the street talking to herself in sign language. In the last year we have become very close. I've always prayed for her, but lately I have been speaking more with her about the Lord.
On Friday, Rob and I had to go to the VA hospital in West Los Angeles. He had an epidural injection. While we were waiting for him to go in, I received a call from Dreamer's friend, asking if I could go see her. I told her it would have to wait until Saturday morning at 10 am. I knew I would be tired after the 5 hours of driving back and forth to L.A.
Yesterday, I went to meet her, but she didn't show up. I was burned out from all the driving and my pain and little put out. Rob was very needy yesterday as well. I'm not the very best when I have a lot of stress. My pain level goes up and my patience goes down. I just wanted to sleep. I did sleep a good deal of the afternoon then all night and until about 9:30 this morning. At 10 am the call came. I started to say no, was shaking my head no, but said yes.
Here is a bit of what happened. Dreamer invited me to go with her to see the movie "Solo" on Thursday after her check came in. I agreed which is hard for me to do when I'm worn out. I just can't think ahead. Then we talked for a while, signing, spelling and writing. I want to share part of what she wrote, " Guess what? I won't be stay alive for no longer in 10 years. Remembered I told you about my used to be addict - heroin. I have Hep C"
"I went to see Dr already she'll put me into treatment. The medicine will help but no cures for Hep C. I'm scared. I don't want to die."
"I have no ideas where I'll go when I die, I means in hell or in heaven. Well, I'm a good person. I believe in God and I love Jesus. I want to go home with Jesus, but does God decide?"
I asked her if she had ever prayed to ask Jesus into her heart. She shook her head no. I asked if she wanted to. She looked straight at me without answering. I told her that Jesus died for her sins and would forgive all if she just asked. She nodded okay. I signed and spelled the prayer and in what throaty voice she has, she repeated them. I had tears rolling down my face. When I looked at her, so did she.
Ok. So I didn't make it to church this morning, but the Lord gave me an assignment anyway. Isn't God good?
You are all in my prayers daily. Please pray for wisdom and understanding for my dear friend Dreamer.